Thursday, October 19, 2006


I am off to do something out of character today. With the encouragement of one of my playing partners, i have entered a squash tournament at my gym. I have one match tonight, and one tomorrow night, and then two on Saturday.

I don't really enjoy competition. Well, let me be a bit more honest; i don't enjoy overt competition. I prefer to keep it covert. So covert that it's really only present in my own mind. I will not go so far as a man that the Mister and i used to know many years ago who confidently stated: "I am the least competitive person you will ever meet." A statement that wins some sort of prize for complete lack of self-awareness. We often repeat it around our house, followed by "and i'll fight anyone who says it isn't true!"

Of course, this covertness is born out of something i am familiar with, cowardice. But my going anyway is born out of something else that i am familiar with, bravery. Take that bad self image, I'm going to do it ANYWAY.

The truth is, i don't care a whole lot about winning, which i surely won't do, but i don't want to embarrass myself either. But i am willing to risk that. Because you know what? IT MIGHT EVEN BE FUN! And i weary of missing out on things just because i think i might not like it or that i might fail.

So thank you to my squash friend. Unless it's not fun, and then curses to her. (Just kidding, we'll make it fun.)


And now for something completely different (Warning, i am a Monty Python Geek)

This morning, as i was hand washing my bras because the lady at Nordstoms actually GASPED when i told her that i threw them in the washing machine, i left the bathroom to head downstairs for just a few minutes.

Yes, you are correct, i got distracted. Yes, you are correct, i caused a flood. All 4 drawers in the bathroom filled up with water, then it ran down onto the floor and was out in our bedroom soaking the carpet before i wandered back upstairs again.

End result, i have clean and neat bathroom drawers, and every towel in the house is wet.


Lucia said...

Go Meno! (And have fun!) Whenever something like the bathroom flood happens, I always think, "I have plenty to do without dealing with this." What the f*3k! Blame that woman at Nordstroms. Throw 'em in the machine and buy 'em more often. (This should be in her best interest if you need to buy more.)

Mother of Invention said...

In other words, "The Upside of a Flood!"

Yes, you are brave to enter the tournament. And you must have a certain level of confidence in your playing ability. I've never played so I just wouldn't be doin' that! Have fun!!

Anonymous said...

The next time I go to Nordstroms I am going to see if I can make the saleslady gasp. That sounds like fun.

Last week I was making pumpkin griddle cakes and walked away from the last two on the pan. Even when my daughter called downstairs, "Mom! Pancakes!" I thought she just wanted some more.

I really need to clean my bathroom closet. Perhaps tomorrow I will pretend it has been flooded.

I have never participated in team sports. I'm not sure if it's too late to rectify that. Bowling, maybe?

Have fun. Don't pull anything.

Mignon said...

Wow! Squash? In the northwest. Hmm, that's something completely different. But, whatever! You go and have fun!

Speaking as an individual completely overwhelmed by competitiveness, I appreciate your approach to this venture. Doing it for yourself, to test your bravery, to have fun. I'd be downing raw eggs and picturing myself beating my opponents to a pulp. Then later I'd take some ulcer medicine and sleep fitfully, dreaming of violent human-shaped squash balls eating my family.

Teri M. said...

As they (whoever "they" are), bravery is being afraid and acting anyway.
Kick some boot-eh. ;)

Girlplustwo said...

ooooohhhh NO.

I can only imagine the moment when you realized there was a mini-flood occuring.

Josephine said...

Oh, how fun! Best of luck on your squash meets!

Anonymous said...

*snort* @ the Great Bra Washing Flood of 2006. Not laughing AT you, just WITH you. ;-)

Is it kosher to wish you well in your tourney with the phrase "break a leg"? I somehow think not.

Good luck! And have FUN!

Andrea Frazer said...

Like your partner at Squash, the bra saleslady at Nordstroms needs to be thinking about your support. If this means you washing in a machine, then so be it! And good luck at the tournament. I say you celebrate with squash soup and call it day! (Hey, what does Meno mean anyway? PRobably something obvious and literary. Just slap my ass, call me retarded, and answer the question. Or post a picture for fuck's sake!)

LazyLazyMe said...

If anyone ever told me to handwash anything (including my hands) I'd laugh in their face and toss my head.

Or toss is their face and laugh...

Squash is fun. Wear short shorts and a headband. Shout 'Come on!' at inappropriate moments. Like at the handshake. Or when they're serving.

Dick said...

You ought to take a decorated jack-o-lantern as a mascot to the squash tournament. That fits, doesn't it?

Now see if you were a few years older and had become a bra burner in the 60s you wouldn't have had them to hand wash, so no flood. Is that a bit of a stretch to try to find something positive?

Lynnea said...

How uptight do you gotta be that you gasp about bras? That girl needs to do something outside of her squash. Where she will be promptly pounded by a non-competitive covertly competitive customer! Go get 'em.

meno said...

lucia, it IS her fault. How nice of you to point that out. In my family of origin, it's all about the blame. Into the machine they go.

MOI, i don't have much confidence in my playing, i blame it all on my partner! (See above)

de, Em, who was with me when shopping, and i both cracked up when we were alone. Get a life, she said.

mignon, you funny! I always fold in the face of blatant competition. It scares me.

teri. i will try!

jen, i can tell you that "oh no" is NOT what i said.

hi josphine, thank you. I just wanna have fu-un.

jennifer, go ahead, laugh at me! i did, after i finished swearing.

mamap, you are not retarded, and i'll fight anyone who says you are! Meno is, i thought, a fairly obscure reference. He is a particpant in a discussion w/socrates on the nature of virtue. You can google it if you are really interested. Also, as a woman of a certain age , meno.....pause.

lazy, turns out that one of the people i will be playing is an 8 year old girl, who will probably beat the socks off me. But my plan is to tell her that she is a bad girl and that i will kill her pet bunny if she doesn't let me win.

dick, that's a great idea. I can squash ot on the court if i don't get my way. I didn't wear a bra for a long time as a young thing, but, you know, things aren't where they used to be.

maggie, exactly! take a deep breath woman!

SUEB0B said...

Yeah, I am a non competitive person too. Me, I would prefer to win WITHOUT seeming to try.

So sorry about the flood. I wash my bras in the washer, too. Hand washing - who needs it?

Anonymous said...

Those Nordstrom women are SO righteous about the whole washing bras thing, aren't they? I used to use a special soap and a net bag with my bras and unders due to such looks. These days I just satisfy myself with air drying the machine washed bras.

At least I didn't flood any bathrom drawers, eh?

Bob said...

I hope you kicked their butts (in a totally non-competitive way) last night and will continue to do so. As I have no lacy underthings to hand-wash, I have no comiserative story to share. I did manage to leave my car idling for two hours last night, but the result was a recharged battery. it wasn't entirely unintended, as you might can deduce.

karmic said...

Hope you kicked some ass at the squash tourney?

Yey I am overtly compettitive too in a very non obvious fashion.

Sprry about the water everywhere thingy.

Elliot said...

In my (sometimes annoying) parental circle of friends, competition and a competetive spirit is frowned upon. What I just do is frown myself when that is brought up. Competition is a part of life, especially in sports. As you may know, I coach a flag football team and, as much as I preach "just have fun out there", once the game starts, I might as well be in a colosseum in Rome. Just win baby!

thailandchani said...

I seem to have come without the competition gene. Don't know why. It worked out that way for some reason. Just have fun out there. :)

Thailand Gal


Lucia said...

A report on the squash please!

Julie Q. said...

I kept re-reading the bra/flood story looking for a Monty Python reference (I'm searching my brain thinking bra, bras, nope I just can't remember them doing a bra skit...maybe there was a flood somewhere right after the plague scene... And then I remembered where I'd heard the "and now for something completely different" line before. Ya, I'm kinda slow today. I've enjoyed reading your blog.

Mother of Invention said...

Reminded me also of the I love Lucy episode where the washer overflows when they put too much detergent in it! I'm a "Lucy" sometimes.

Anonymous said...

"I am the least competitive person you will ever meet."

*snort* I've always said, "kill all the extremists! All of them! Every last one! No exceptions!"

meno said...

suebob, if someone really WANTS to win something, i always back off and say, Go for it Dude. I just don't care that much. You can be assured that i will never again hand wash my bras. Life is too short, and so, apparently is my attention span.

kerewin, She did try to sell me a $27 bottle of special Hand Washing of Nordstrom's Bras Soap, telling me that Woolite destroys the elastic. I declined.

Bob, sadly, alas, no. But thanks for the story.

Sanjay, not so much with the ass kicking.

jeremiah, i think competitiveness is okay, in an appropriate level. But all that aside, winning is WAY more fun.

Thailand gal, i did have fun the last day, despite the weirdness.

lucia, see the next post for the gruesome details.

julie, I'm glad you figured it out. YOu must be a MP geek too. Thank you for reading.

MOI, Yeah, it could have been a sit-com plot, especially as i kept opening drawer after drawer filled w/2 inches of water.

nancy, isn't that the best? We crack up at our house over that one alot. I like the extremists one too. I will add that to our list of absurd things to say.

Bobealia... said...

I have a mesh bag for bras and I throw them all in there and wash them like that in the machine. I think of it as kind of a compromise. You can buy them at Bed, Bath, & Beyond.