Friday, November 10, 2006

Ten things (because 100 would take me until next week)

Usually these types of posts are titled “Ten Weird Things” but none of these things are that weird. At least i don’t think so.

1.) I am a complete and utter baby about the dentist. I hate going. I hate them fiddling with my teeth. It’s about all i can do to keep from slapping their hands away as they approach me. I’ve been know to cry after a teeth cleaning. But that was a long time ago, really.

2.) I like to bring home pretty leaves in the fall. I can’t resist picking them up and bringing them into the house, where they wither up and become fodder for the vacuum cleaner.

3.) I can’t tell right from left without thinking about it each and every time. I’ll tell the Mister to “Turn left here. No, NO the OTHER left!” Now i use “your way” or “my way” in the car to avoid this embarrassing lack of knowledge.

4.) Whenever i walk, i cross two of the fingers on my right hand. This is a totally unconscious habit. When i notice that i am doing it, i uncross my fingers, but it feels weird.

5.) I live in the heart of latte land, yet i don’t drink coffee. I often get a shocked reaction, “YOU DON’T DRINK COFFEE?” accompanied by a look of complete incomprehension. I love the way coffee smells, and i love coffee ice cream or candy, but to me coffee tastes nasty.

6.) I have many freckles. I grew up in the era when sunscreen was either zinc oxide, or non-existent. We used to lie in the sun with baby oil smeared all over our pale bodies. I think baby oil is SPF minus 5. My mother used to try and convince me that my spots were angel kisses. It didn’t work, but i like them now.

7.) I can’t sleep with any part of my body hanging over the side of the bed. I think about those stupid ghost stories from slumber parties and i can almost feel a deranged man licking my fingers or toes.

8.) I am a dreadful typist. I use one finger on my left hand, and three on my right hand. This is because i don’t have independent movement of the fingers on my left hand due to a tragic childhood accident involving a fishbowl and a laundry sink, followed by five hours of surgery, two weeks in the hospital and six months of physical therapy. The only upside is that due to the surgery my lifeline on my left hand goes halfway to my elbow. I’m going to be one old bat.

The Mister and Em both type fast enough to ignite the keyboard. They cannot bear to watch my labored pecking. “Let me do that,” Em says, and then grabs the keyboard away from me. I make lots of typos. Forgive me.

9.) I can’t count.


Girlplustwo said...

i think we may have been split from the same psychic womb....i commisserate on so many points.

i love your leaf gathering. the quiet beauty of fallen nature gone noticed.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I thought my friend Stucco was the only one in Coffeeland who didn't drink the stuff.

Cool points. I collect rocks the way you collect leaves. There aren't any leaves worth collecting out here.

We have the same typing skills. I just never learned how.

Lynnea said...

I'm a leaf picker too. And so are my children. We had lovely color in the house, for about two days.

When I was a regular runner (god I hope that happens again someday) I had a habit of splaying all my fingers out and then balling them up in fists, over and over. Weird.

My husband says when I type it sounds like a machine gun going off - he hates it. He wants a muffler for the keyboard.

I got the end of your post and laughed my ass off! Seriously, it's gone and thank you.

thailandchani said...

I loved the part about the leaves. We collect them here, too. And last year, I preserved my dahlias from the garden.

Who wants to let go of beauty? :)

I laughed my tail off at the end, too.


Thailand Gal

urban-urchin said...

I laughed out loud at the deranged man licking your fingers... I am the same way. I used to position myself in the middle during slumber parties thinking that the deranged killer would start on the outsides giving me enough time to run away.

Lucia said...

I'm not in the center of coffee country, but I don't drink coffee either. In college, people would tell me I would when I was older. Wrong. I think it tastes nasty too.

I don't collect leaves, but I do collect stuff on hikes (sticks, bolts, whatever) and then while I'm walking, put together a piece of art with whatever I've found.

egan said...

I used to be with on the no coffee thing. Then my wife got a job at a large Seattle coffee company and introduced me to chai and other drinks.

I know of a great dentist in our town. I used to have a fear, but once you start going it makes things much easier. Have a good weekend. Au revoir!

amusing said...

When the Eldest was a baby, he loved leaves. We collected them on walks around the neighborhood (tiny him would decide which were worth keeping; the others would get pitched over the side of the stroller), then I would press them and stuck them up on the wall behind his crib where he could admire them. They were quite lovely against his bright yellow wall, I must say. (And now he is quite the artist -- this is the fifth year in a row that he has had his work selected to be in the special two-school art show)

meno said...

jen, even on the toe licking? The leaves are irresistable to me , they are so pretty.

nancy, there is obviously an underground resistance to the coffee borg!

maggie, i have a leaf that i pressed last year. It sits in front of a little light on my desk that illuminates the whole leaf. You're welcome for the missing ass.

thailand gal, how does one preserve dahlias? I love those flowers.

u-u, we were at the same parties i think, 20 years apart. Why is it that girls like to scare the crap out of thenselves at these events?

lucia, oh, post some of the art pictues! I would love to see.

egan, a large seattle coffee company? One that has their main offices near Safeco field? Hmmm.

amusing, what a lovely story. he's a boy after my own heart.

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

I, too, was told that my freckles were angels kisses. Grrr... It didn't make me like angels very much, I'll tell you that.

Andrea Frazer said...

I have nothing to say except I want to lick the new screen color you chose. It evokes memories of push ups in summer. Slooooopppp......mmmmmm. Just slobbered on my screen.

Anonymous said...

I have to pop Ativan before visiting the dentist. I have tranferred my fear unto my girls. Damn. And the typing? I can't stand it. The sight of me two-finger pecking is pathetic.

Mother of Invention said...

#9 is so clever!

I collect leaves too...a carry-over from when we ironed them between wax paper for those Gr. 4 Leaf projects!

I am a worse typist than you! I use 1 finger on each hand. I have poor dexterity due to profound diabetic neuropathy..(sugar-coated nerves!)But I also never learned the proper method!

I, too was from the slather baby oil and fry generation. It's a little scary though as far as skin cancer goes. I spent 8 summers at camp SPFless. Maybe I should have used that Orange Sure Tan!!!

Josephine said...

We have a few things in common. I hate the dentist, I walk with my hands in my pockets, and I can't sleep with anything hanging off the bed either. I wrap my feet in a cocoon to ensure I don't wake up to the horror of exposed toes.

Because of ghost stories. WTF is up with that?

Mrs. Chili said...

Oh, this is WONDERFUL! I laughed out loud about number 8 - not because of your misfortune, but because you related it so beautifully.

I am your soul sister on 1, 3, 5 and 8. I type fast enough to light the keyboard on fire, though, and I can count, but I can't add.

I'm adding you to my list!

meno said...

cagey, like we're really stupid enough to fall for that story. Ha!

mamap, i'm glad you like it. It makes me feel warm. Feel free to slobber, as long as it's on your screen.

caro, ativan? I should do that too. Wonder how i can get some. I saw some e-mail about that just yesterday.

MOI, thanks! I've already had one skin cancer scraped off the side of my neck. I'm betting there will be more.

josephine, i never liked ghost stories so i don't understand the attraction.

mrs chili. welcome! looks like we have a few things in common.

Orange said...

2. I'll pick up some colorful leaves, but then when no one in the house appreciates them, I throw them away. (The leaves, that is.)

3. I often say the wrong direction. When instructing whoever's driving, I just point.

4. If I'm holding my arm up to carry something (like a hot cup of coffee), the other arm floats up to the same level. I'm two steps away from the "Thriller" dance.

5. But the coffee's for my husband. I won't drink the stuff. It smells and tastes burnt. Acridly burnt.