Monday, June 15, 2009


I got a promotion!

Yeah, it's true that i don't have a job, but i do volunteer at a non-profit agency. I've been asked to step up and take over the Volunteer Coordinator position. So i will be the Volunteer Volunteer Coordinator. It will involve learning a few new things, and will take up about 6 to 8 hours a week.

That's what they told me. I know better because i know how any job will expand to fill the time available (just like the crap in my house expands to fill the space available,) but i said yes anyway. I think i was flattered that i am viewed as one of the more competent volunteers.

We'll call most of the other volunteers..... pre-computer age women. I think that's a nice way to put it, don't you? Anyway, something as simple as filling in hours in an Excel spreadsheet is beyond them. I know this because i tried mightily to train a few of them. It was scary. They would write down every step, say they got it, and next week i'd have to show them again.

This opportunity appeared just when i was looking for something to take up some of my time. Funny how that happens.

I'm going to get paid TWICE what i make now. You do the math.


the enchanted laundress of the evening said...

Do you get a name tag or plaque with a fancy title?

The Real Mother Hen said...

So you can't spend the whole summer reading porn and smoking pot. Damn. Nah, I'm just being mean. Because now you have a great excuse for not coming to Oregon and see me! :)

colleen said...

That's a tough equation to figure!

Anonymous said...

I knew it was a good thing when you got your foot in the door there.

Magpie said...

Way to go!

Cheesy said...

LOL you are too cute.

meno said...

enchanted laundress, if not, i'll quit in a huff!

mother hen, oh wait, you're right! That will cut into my "me time." Damn!

colleen, it's for advanced mathematicians only!

de, good for them maybe. :)

magpie, next i'm going to run for president!

cheesy, you too!

flutter said...

soon you'll be making 4 times as much and your ego, it will EXPLODE!

SUEB0B said...

Go, you! It doesn't surprise me that you are among the more competent volunteers.

I had an old man ask me at an assignment the other day if I had seen him on TV (he is a bit of a media hound). I said, "No, I don't have a TV," and he said "Oh, so you're LOW TECH, are you?" and I said "Not particularly. I just don't have a TV." Even at my advanced age, I don't think of TV as particularly "high tech" LOL.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Oh, wow. Twice nothing is REALLY nothing, maybe even really really nothing. I'm so happy for you, and I love your subtle and generous euphemism, "pre-computer age" women.

I've also noticed that my stuff expands to fill the space, no matter how much space there is. It's one of those pre-computer age laws of logic or something.

sari said...


One of the things I didn't like about my old part time job was that everything I did was checked over 7 times by the person who i replaced, who still would come in "for free" and "help". Why even have me there?

I think it's great that you're going to be doing more, they obviously need you!

fiwa said...

Good for you! I was just thinking the other day that I should fill in some of my time while I'm looking for a job by volunteering. Just need to figure out where I fit in.

I hope you enjoy the power. Exploit it!!!

nick said...

It's good that you enjoy volunteering and feel that your work is appreciated. I volunteered at an asthma charity in London for almost two years but left in the end because I felt too dispensible and taken for granted. I also felt it was about time I was paid something for all the work I was doing!

Gina said...

Congrats! My very dear friend was like those women. She couldn't use the mouse- simply could not work out the hand/eye coordination to get it to go where she wanted. And it went downhill from there. We shared an office for years. Yeah.

Bob said...

They finally recognized your brilliance. onwards and upwards. nothing can stop you now.

thailandchani said...

Wow.. a 100% increase is pretty impressive! :)


Mrs4444 said...

You're funny.

Okay, tell me what to do.

luckyzmom said...

I am a 'pre-computer age' woman. I finally figured out why it seems impossible to remember procedures from one computer session to the next. I don't have to. I am constantly whining to my husband, "How do you do....?" Pathetic, I know, but it works for me. I remember twelve or so years ago when Best put in computers to place your orders on in their store in Spokane. Older, excuse me, I mean 'pre-computer age'. people were so very intimidated by them. One I observed was in tears. I can remember feeling sorry for them. I'm sure your help and understanding will be appreciated. After all you will be getting that huge pay raise:D

TTQ said...

Let me do some ciphering, carry the nought and double it!
Cut it in half and double it!
Take that and cut it in half and add another nought!

Girlplustwo said...

ah yes...the Non Profit Volunteer Volunteer Coordinator! All Hail!

Over my NGO years I pulled this stunt with many a nice volunteer type person. Only one of them still talks to me. Enjoy! Duck and cover!



Marshamlow said...

Congratulations, you deserve at least 100 times what you make now!

Vanessa said...

Hopefully there is some other perk to go with this, like maybe a designated parking space?

meno said...

flutter, i'll need to expand the doorways just to get my head through.

suebob, truthfully, the competition is not stiff. I am with you on the TV thing. I have one, but rarely watch the damn thing.

hearts, i try to throw stuff out, but it creeps back in at night, i swear it does.

sari, that's annoying. No wonder it is your OLD job.

fiwa, yeah, it's pretty fun being a volunteer. they can't criticize you.

nick, i can understand that. It's frustrating to be overlooked.

gina, oh wow. One of the women here is JUST LIKE THAT. I never thought mousing was so difficult, but i guess i was wrong.

bob, by next year i'll be running the place.

chani, i know! What will i do w/all the $? Donate it back?

mrs. 4444, click here. No, no, here, not over there.

luckyzmom, it's nice to have live-in technical help. I have one of those too, otherwise i doubt we'd have internet.

ttq, good job on the math!

jen, i plan to guard my time jealously. But thanks for the heads up.

marsha, i think so too. :)

vanessa, only the satisfaction of helping out and a job well done and all those cliches. Maybe i will demand a parking place.

Dick said...

The Volunteer Coordinator at the hospital where Pat volunteers is a paid employee and that is a good thing. He is busy much of the time (I don't believe the 6 - 8 hours) trying to fill positions for volunteers who are sick or otherwise need to be off. Of course, that depends on how much they really need any one specific volunteer job. Maybe it will work out okay for you. Good Luck!

Lynnea said...

Ooh, a pay hike - excellent. Of course, multiples or percentage raises only work when you've actually been making money. But the bonuses are excellent. Right? =)

Lynnea said...

Wait. You can't hold title of 'useless parasite' anymore can you? Not with a promotion. Because now you're not just a volunteer (yeah right, 'just'), you're a needed volunteer.

Tink said...

Sometimes all you have to do is think/wish/want something hard enough. Congrats!!

Taradharma said...

oh meno, you crack me up!! Long time no see, eh? I was going through some of my old posts (from, like, 3 years ago) and found many of your comments and thought, "Dang, I miss that girl!" And here you are, funny as ever.

Volunteer Coordinator: watch out: they'll suck you dry! ;-) Oh, and I am newly retired. But I won't volunteer to be the coordinator....I'm happy having 4 pm martinis thank you very much.

Robin said...

congrats on the promotion! i'm sure you're worth every (imaginary) penny!

the important question you get to wear a smock?