Monday, September 04, 2006

Pursed lips

So what is it with men, and women's purses? My husband offered to bring me my purse today, so that i can complete a purchase over the internet, and i tell him, "Thank you sweetie, my wallet is in the side pouch, just bring that."

So you know what happens, he brings the whole purse, because he can't bear the thought of looking inside it. God knows what horrific, female hormoned cootied thing he might find. A tampon, bottled water (a nod to the movie "Heathers"), a romance novel with Fabio on the cover, Ben Wa balls. Untold horror might lie within. When normally he's quite happy to associate with things related to my naughty bits.

An aside: Damn it, a gnat just took a swan dive into my glass of red wine. One reason it will be nice to see the last of summer. I know it's just extra protein, but i still can't drink it. At least he died happy.

So, any one out there know what is so scary about a woman's purse, especially when i have told him that it's okay to root around in there?


Karen Jacobs said...

They don't want to be blamed if anything is found out of order. I know this for a fact ;-) Alcohol purifies gnat cooties... I also know this for a fact since I would NEVER throw out a good glass of wine.

meno said...

kj, that made me smile. I will confess that a gnat doesn't really phase me either, but a crane fly, or a moth in my wine is just icky. Guess it would depend on the cost of the wine, and if i have any more.

Lynnea said...

Ok I have to confess that I hadn't noticed this phenomenon before, oh marital newbie that I am. But now that I'm thinking about it, Hubby has the same reaction. This could come in I would ever have something to hide!

Oh, and I'm still chuckling that your gnat friend "died happy". When you can see life from the point of view of a gnat, you have reached Jedi Master status.

Bobealia... said...

I don't like to root around in anyone's personal things even if I have permission - not even my husband.

Josephine said...

I think it has less to do with what might be inside than just the principle of the matter. It's in the same vein as not asking for directions. There are just certain things that "real men don't do". And it's not just Americans because my Turk won't do it, either. I think it's a macho thing.

Anonymous said...

I think " the purse "is one of the last few places where a woman can keep secrets. I could never "do " the purse thing. Still can't. 37 years old and all I have as a sorry excuse for a purse is a crappy knapsack. In high-school, I always envied the purse carrying girls. They personified cool.

Tracy Helgeson said...

I have trained my husband to stay away from my purse, as he always messes things up when he goes into it. I also learned it was useless to ask him to find me anything in it, because, like the refrigerator, he is unable to find anything in my purse. Better to just keep him away:-)

Anonymous said...

I don't know what's so scary about the purse thing, but you have reminded me of a story in a similar vein from years ago.

My friend Laura asked her father to buy her some tampons when he next went to the supermarket. This proved too much of a Cool Dad test for her father, who just couldn't face it when he got there.

He came back and gave Laura a lightbulb (which she didn't need and hadn't asked for), and said "Sorry."

Anonymous said...

purses are like the black holes in real life to men. they just swallow everything that comes their way and we are 100% sure if we reach in it will swallow us too.

Lucia said...

I think it's a bit of laziness. Why should they spend their precious time digging for something when we can take the time to root instead?

meno said...

d-man, For ALL of Africa? That would be scary. You might need therapy.

maggie, might be a good place to hide the chocolate?

bo, i don't mind rooting, as long as they either aren't looking or i have permission. Hide your diary from me.

josephine, i like to ask my husband to hold my purse while i'm in a dressing room. That takes the macho right out of him.

caro, purse carrying takes some getting used to. I remember leaving the damn thing everywhere before i got the hang of it. And i still can't have a purse that requires me to use my hands to hold it. It's either a backpack style, or an over-the-shoulder one for me.

tracy, I love the refrigerator blindness thing. My daughter has it too.

antonia, that's funny. A light bulb is not such a great subtitute for a tampon.

anon, that reminds me of the purse in Mary Poppins where she pulls out lamps and bags and all kinds of ridiculous stuff. A sucking black vortex of nothingness!

lucia, i think you've got it!

Imez said...

You know, when my mother wants something out of her purse, I just hand her the whole damned thing. Because it probably isn't where she said it was, and I don't want to deal with the crap deluge that will spill out with it. And I'm a woman with my own black hole of a purse, you'd think I'd be more sympathetic.

Love your blog.

Andrea Frazer said...

First off, re: your comment about me being an extrovert. That's true, but I'm still an anxious SOB, so I'd be having a panic attack at your dad's party in the corner. But I"d still be cuter than you because I'd be wearing some vintage outfit with cat eye sunglasses. Jeans and tee shirt? Uhhh, NOOOOOOO. And as far as the purse thing, why don't you put something freaky in there next time, like a to-do list. 1. Remember to tell husband he needs rectal exam. Buy swabs. 2. Yeast infection check up. 3. Call ex lover from highschool. I miss that girl.

Just a thought.

meno said...

esereth, thank you for the compliment. Black hole pretty much describes my purse.

mamap, ha ha ha ha , i love that idea. Will work on evil list. "prepare hubby for colo-rectal exam".