Tuesday, July 31, 2007

A few observations about airports and traveling, just for fun.

(Scarlett O’Hara voice) As God is my witness, i will nevah fly coach again! Airplane seats are brutally small if you are any size larger than ordinary. Ugh.

Those self flushing toilets at airports feel like a violation of my free will. Add the astonishment of the plastic toilet seat cover tube trying to move while i was sitting and i may need therapy.

This story, about a man who missed his flight and called 911 to report a bomb on the plane in the hopes that the plane would return to the gate really pisses me off. He inconvenienced hundreds of people. Selfish bastard. It did not surprise me to learn he was a doctor. Yes, i know he was “off his meds.” But i’m still pissed at him. You watch, next he’ll be checking into rehab.

There are people who will happily stretch out over 4 seats, even after the waiting area fills up. Selfish bastards.

Airline employees have the patience of saints. Both of my flights were delayed over two hours. Some people were quite unpleasant about it. It never fails to astonish me how people will abuse others just because they can. Selfish bastards!

And finally, for no reason, a picture of 15 pounds of cat stuffed into a 10 pound box:


Ortizzle said...

I bet that kitty would have loved to stretch out over even one airline seat!

And, yeah, there are a lot of S.B.s out there. The most amazing thing about them is how they blame everyone else for everything that goes wrong, including what they are responsible for.
Hmph! Selfish bastards.

Sienna said...

Meno, you are so cute when you are mad:)...aaah the diversity of human nature and personality....SB's

You are the INFP? aren't you...me too, I can do crowds and parties and stuff and enjoy it, sort of, but it's like draining the social-bility batteries flat (I can invent new words)...not one for smalltalk? Apparently? we are 1% of the population, a rare and equisite creature:)...life's good mate

The tabby cat pic is just gorgeous.

I think blogs are fantastic for people, sort of sounding board thingo's, almost therapy..and opportunity for people to air their talents and views and stuff...great idea. You bitch all you want to sister!!

I totally agree, folk that abuse people (eg airline staff) just because they can...astonishes me, so so wrong.


amusing said...

That cat needs a hat box.

Biscotto said...

How tall are you?

Don't you hate it when the person in front of you reclines their seat ALL the way back?

Do you have a special travel bra that you wear so that you don't set of the metal detectors? Sorry, that sounded too much like what color are your panties. I just mean, isn't it weird how people used to travel in suits and now you have to take your shoes off?

Anonymous said...

I almost missed that label! heh heh heh heh heh. (that's how you spell evil cackle.)

Schmoopie said...

We are seeing a great decline in the number of "decent folks" in our society. Rudeness abounds (and not just at the airport.)

But the picture of the kitty makes it all better. :)

Mrs. Chili said...

I go out of my way to be kind to service people - wait staff, toll collectors, airline service people - as long as they're not initially rude to me. Most of them are just so relieved to NOT have to put up with another selfish asshole that I can actually SEE them relax a little when they realize that I'm going to be polite to them. It makes me feel good.

I have a cat who likes to jam himself into boxes, too, but I don't have a picture NEARLY this cute....

ms chica said...

I'm glad you arrived home, although your flight was delayed....I wasn't as lucky.

What no mention of the four foot bathroom window at our hotel that opened into the suite?

Lynn said...

People have gotten more and more rude and have then turned into 'Selfish Bastards'...everyone of them! I think it has to do with the way some people parent their children...or should I say don't parent their children. Then they become , 'The world still revolves around me' adults and act like SB's.
p.s. Those self flushing, self covering toilets and covers creep me out too.

Unknown said...

"Those self flushing toilets at airports feel like a violation of my free will. Add the astonishment of the plastic toilet seat cover tube trying to move while i was sitting and i may need therapy."

*snort* Bwahahahhahahaahahaha!

And I just had to explain to O the plastic toilet seat thingie. He still doesn't get it. (And I think it just goes around and around, giving the illusion that you're getting a fresh seat. Selfish Bastards.)

Put the lid on that box and send that kitty this way!

Liv said...

so help me, precious! you are just as cute as two whole buttons when you're cranky! LOVE IT!

meno said...

ortizzle, he's big enough to need two seats though. Yeah people can really suck, and of course none of it is their fault.

pam, total INFP, although the only one that is clear is the I, the others are closer to the middle. And my kitty is beautiful, isn't he? He's a snuggler too.

amusing, if i had a hat box, i would let him have it. But it's been a while since i bought an easter bonnet.

biscotto, 6'1". And yes, i do hate it when the seat is inclined, i have to sit with my knees apart, and me such a lady. My underwire has never set off the detector, that would be funny, and embarrassing. I am old enough to remember when you got dressed up to fly.

de, it's true though. :)

schmoops, that's the truth. I am a frothing at the mouth ranter about people and their cell phones. My boy kitty does help, 'cause he's so cute.

mrs.chili, me too. And i tip well. God knows they need it more than i do. You need to work on a cat picture. It sounds cute.

ms. chica, uh oh. What happened? I left the bathroom privacy for you to discuss.

lynn, our precious little children are so wonderful that we don't want to stifle their little spirits with discipline. Yes, i hate that mindset.

nancy, it scared the hell out of me, really. And here you are laughing! I don't think it's a fresh bit of seat cover each time either. You can't have my kitty!

liv, stop saying i'm cute when i'm cranky, i was going for fearsome!

flutter said...

Dude, can we take up a collection to get the kitteh a bigger box?

Girlplustwo said...

i think i might have been the asshole at the airport this weekend, hung over and taking up two seats. but you know, i would have moved if it was full. i'm aware like that.

Liv said...

oh, so freakin' cute. you don't even know!

but, fierce in a cutey cute way!

urban-urchin said...

the label cracked me up. that guy that called in a bomb is an a-hole of the first order.

egan said...

Why were you on a plane?

egan said...

Maybe it can be 111 days until you ride in coach again? Why do you have to be so tall?

QT said...

I am a short person and even I get up out of an airplane seat like - JESUS! that is uncomfortable. So I can only imagine what it must be like with some extra length to your legs.

Love the label, and that kitty in a box made my morning!

AC said...

I need to get out more, because I don't understand what's happening with the toilet seats.

Welcome Home? Right???

Bobealia... said...

In my experience, those airline employees do not have the patience of saints, and lie to your face, BUT, I still don't understand why the selfish bastards bother to yell at them. Like they are making the decisions.

Anonymous said...

I hate toilets that flush, by themselves, while you're sitting on them and your ass then gets a mist of toilet water showered all over it. Yuck! And I have never seen plastic covered toilet seats. I wanted to yell out, what the hell do you people do in toilets that requires plastic on the seats?

Love your cat. Animals are too funny. The other night I went to find one of my dogs to put out before I went to bed and he was hanging upside down on the armchair, wagging his tail to beat the band but not willing to get up off his ass to come to me. I had to pick him up and carry him to the door. I just realized my dogs are training me.

Marshamlow said...

I am glad you made it home safe and sound. Those selfish people who believe the world revolves around them, really annoy me too. It is very frustrating.

TTQ said...

uh oh you said selfish Bastard three times, you better hope it's not like saying :
Beetlejuice,Beetlejuice,Beetlejuice! Where a selfish bastard will appear out of nowwhere.

Don't you just love the way kitties claim everything as theirs! My cat has her own room, a babygated place where no dogs can go. It happens to be the master bed & bath that I won't sleep in. Yet she's really down to earth *snort*

Lee said...

That doctor should do time for his transgression. Absolutely ridiculous.

That cat needs a pat on his fat lat.

Anonymous said...

You know, even with all the selfish bastards in the world, most of the time when I have to travel, I love the airport. It's like a miniature laboratory of life.

Anonymous said...

The toilets at work got changed to auto-flush and for weeks I would jump three feet into the air in fright every time. Then I got so used to them that I stopped flushing at home. You will be relieved to know that things have settled down now.

That a cute cat in a box.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on every step [especially on international flights] but kitty is certainly compensation - such good therapy and great for anger management.

Elliot said...

Someone bought up the last THREE dozen kumo oysters at the mart. Shellfish bastards!

thailandchani said...

Couldn't agree with you about the selfish bastards.

Just agree. Totally. And it's not just on airplanes, unfortunately.



meno said...

flutter, He just found that shoe box on the floor and settled on in. He broke it.

jen, you are not an asshole if you moved when other people might have wanted some of your seats. It was a long flight home.

liv, cute? i just don't hear that about my big old self.

u-u, bitch, bitch, bitch, that's my specialty.

egan, because it was better than a train or an automobile. I am tall because it takes up room to hold all this gorgeousness.

qt, you are petite, and if you are annoyed by the seats i feel better. Em just falls asleep on airplanes.

ac, it's the weirdest thing the first time you see one. It's like the world's longest, skinniest plastic bag over the seat, and it just moves automatically o that different bits of the bag are over the seat. Next time i'll take a picture.

bo, they do lie, but politely. It's always "the weather" never anyone's fault.

deb, I KNOW! I am always startled by the flush, like, "who is in here?" And being startled with my pants half down is not a good thing.

marsha, i had had my fill of them by the time i made it home.

ttq, I must have said it multiple times, because they were everywhere. My cats rule the house, and they know it.

lee, does that cat need a hat and and bat when he sat?

jennifer, the airport can be fun for a while, but i was rather tired of it by the time i was done.

capacious, ha ha! I know what you mean. I'm glad you were able to adjust to the change.

mcewen, kitty was a big help when i got home. He was so happy to see me that he has followed me around since.

jeremiah, you are a funny funny man.

chani, but it seems more concentrated at airports, with the teeming masses.

Andrea Frazer said...

Awww, that is such a cute picture! Way nicer than the one of me in my skinny jeans after a day of Thanksgiving turkey and stuffing.

Anonymous said...

When I was on the flight down to Chicago I sat beside a very nice man and we were talking about airport security and I asked him why we need to put our things in little ziplock baggies to get on an airplane. With a very straight face he said," It's a well known fact that plastic protects us from weapons of mass destruction."

I was telling my husband about the plastic sleeves on the toilets this morning and bitching about them when he said the plastic sleeves "protected us from weapons of ass destruction." I just about fell off my chair laughing.

Joan said...

Your observations about air travel are spot on. That's probably why I only travel by plane when I absolutely must and, so far, that's been three times in 25 years!!! Of course, 2 of those three times have been in the last year!

karmic said...

I loved the rant and you are so accurate with your travel observations.
I wonder why ppl dont try being a little nice for a change?
Loved the kitty picture.

Biscotto said...

I remembered you were tall but I didn't know how tall. Tell me what YOU think of it, being tall. Does Em favor you in this way?

You underwires don't set off the detectors? Mine do, all the time. These days I get the wand AND the pat down. A very impersonal pressure against the side of my breast by a female guard. With the tips of the fingers, which are always held close together, of the non-wand hand. On both sides.

Jet Blue is having a sale on tickets. I thought for a moment ONLY 50 BUCKS! Then I thought about airports and the pat down and dry mouth and socked feet on strangers and opening laptop cases and I think, NAH.

I'd rather stay home and listen to the homies in the projects down the street shoot each other and the occasional small child.

Anonymous said...

Coach sucks, but I have no options. That doctor should be on the nsa no fly list now. And cute tweet puddie tat needs a bewy rub.

Tink said...

I think they should give complimentary Valiums at airports. I think we'd all be better off.

Imez said...

Can I just use a symbol when I want to say that I read it, agreed with it, and loved how you said it? Maybe just type this,


Yes, $@$@ indeed.

Anonymous said...

Sweet, I feel your pain. I'll be cramming my 190+ pound, 6' 2" non-bending frame into a whole variety of small and medium-sized aircraft this weekend, and I'm looking forward to it with about as much relish as...well...not much relish.

It's funny--for a guy who loves airplanes so very much I hate flying. Almost as much as I hate most people.

meno said...

mamap, he is cute, and so funny/ Why he chose to stuff himself into this box i don't know.

deb, ha ha ha ha! *snort* I love that!

joan, i used to enjoy flying, but now it's just one big suck fest. I refuse to pay for first class, so that leaves my cheap ass in coach or driving.

sanjay, i wish i knew why people feel compelled to be such jerks.

biscotto, I like being tall, mostly because it's so damn funny to see people react. I have written some posts about it, back a-ways. if you want the links let me know beacuse it pretty much tells how i feel. Em takes after her Daddy, the Mister. I married a short guy, mostly for his moderating genetics. She is barely 5'5".

my pool, i will probably fly coach too as i am too cheap to pay for first class when it's only for a few hours. I hope that doctor doesn't get out of it with his "I was off my meds" claim. You like cats too?

tink, i will vote for you to rule the world! Great idea.

esereth, $@$@ it is! Maybe you can start a new internet thing.

irrelephant, i hate people too! That felt good to say. Good luck with the cramming of yourself into plane seats.

Anonymous said...

Oh, yes I like kitties. I have two rescue kitties. Can't imagine a house I would live in without at least one. :)