Friday, October 31, 2008

I am not obsolete

Those of you who have kids (this applies to The Mister too, by the way) know they can't find their ass with both hands and a flashlight.

I can't tell you how many times i've responded to a frantic Em by walking into her room and saying, "Look, it's right here!"

Some things never change. Witness this IM exchange:

em: MOMMY :-( I can't find my black dress pants.
meno: uh oh!
meno: are they on the floor of the closet? slipped off the hanger
meno: ?
em: I've looked all over the stupid floor. :-(
meno: under the bed?
meno: behind the hamper?
meno: on the shelves above the closet?
em: I don't think so... :/
em: This means I have nothing to wear to matriculation or for Halloween.
meno: uh oh
meno: did they accidently get mixed into Roommate’s things?
meno: the last time you wore them was that stupid convocation thing i think

em: Yeah it was.
em: So they must be here. But... D:
em: I have no idea. ;_____; I know they're here. I just have no idea where and I can't find them. ._.
meno: in a drawer?
em: Nope. >_< meno: sorry, wish i could help, that's all the places i can think of
meno: i think you hung them back up, so either they are hiding on a hanger, or they fell off
em: But I can't find them anywhere.
meno: i believe you
em: ;___________;
em: What do I do? I can't go naked to matriculation, even if I have to skip out on dressing up for Halloween.
meno: did you look carefully on EVERY hanger? To make sure they aren't hidden half folded?
em: AHA!!!!!
em: Under one of my coats. :D: You're a genius.
meno: who's your buddy???
em: YOU! <3

Nice to know i still have the power to find things in her room when she can't, even from 2000 miles away.


Lynnea said...

You are amazing. And kids are always helpless. It's like they have search and find blindness.

The Real Mother Hen said...

Hold on, did she say matriculation? Goodness, I thought nobody in the US knows and uses this word. As far as I know, only countries with British school system use that word. Here in the US, only a handful colleges use that term. Uh-huh, she must be going to a very formal and proper school then!

I'm going to start calling my ma whenever I can't find stuff, probably drive her up the wall and over too :)

Unknown said...

Matriculation. How very cool.

I think finding thing from 2000 mile away makes you like a 27th-level mom. I bow to you in all my geekiness.

tt said...

you so totally rock as a Mom!! She will always need you babe...

luckyzmom said...

Not even a GPS can matriculate a great and multitalented Mom with ESP like you.

Dianne said...

of course she'll always need you!!

I have a 35 yr old and his 35 yr old wife and still I need to send e-mails that say things like:

it is monday night, put the garbage out

then I think twice and add

don't put it near the car, the truck can't get at it

It will never end :)

lu said...

Will you be my mommy?

meno said...

maggie, i wonder when/if they learn to find things on their own.

mother hen, matriculation, matriculation, matriculation. 5 syllables! pretty great word.

nancy, 27th level! Like dungeons and dragons 27th level? Cool!

tt, and i her.

luckyzmom, very clever!

dianne, that's funny. I think i'll let her deal with the garbage on her own.

lu, of course i will. Now, GO CLEAN YOUR ROOM!

Brad said...

OK, that's kinda mom-spooky.


Stucco said...

What was wrong with going naked?

flutter said...

uh huh just another case of mom clairvoyance

Em said...

Don't even get me started! They can't find a darned thing!!! Not even the things they are wearing/standing on/sitting on/holding. They just have no idea where it is. DUH!

Vanessa said...

WHOA! The eyes in the back of your head? You apparently have them by satellite! Nice job Mom!

Anonymous said...

Hey, meno? I can't find the receipt for my leather jacket so I can get reimbursed on the insurance claim--can you help?

meno said...

brad, how appropriate!

stucco, beats me, that was my next suggestion.

flutter, i just know that she can look at something without really seeing it.

em, it really is amazing isn't it?

vanessa, it must be that surveillance camera i installed in her dorm room.

irrelephant, can't help you, you threw it away some time ago. :)

TTQ said...

daily occurence with matter what it is..

I'm too young for this shit.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I suspect they do this so we won't ever develop independent lives. They need to know periodically that no matter how mature and competent they become, we will still be there like their personal genie in the lamp.

Husbands are even worse, though why THEY do this is anybody's guess. I think it's because of a horrible miscarriage of DNA.

QT said...

This is hysterical. I still get calls from the ex-BF about where stuff might be put away, and I haven't lived there in almost a year...

jaded said...

Deja vu...only my mister will be playing the role of Em in Act II.

Imez said...

I can't figure out why your daughter ends her texts with boobs and a dunce cap. <3

I'm not very deep tonight, apologies all around.

Eve said...

Meno, I am the mom and I couldn't find my fishnet hose for Halloween, the ones I'd just had in my hand.

After a search high and low, I finally found them draped around my neck.

So... put me on the list of folks who need your help, too. ;o)

sari said...

Yes, we have that issue around here, too. My six year old comes home from school every day with some teensie tiny treasure he found in the sand on the playground, but never can he find his gameboy. :-)

Anonymous said...

it is somewhat comforting to know that all moms must go thru the torture of wondering if their kids need glasses or are simply retarded.

Dick said...

Maybe she really just wanted to talk with you? You know, sort of a bit of that homesickness showing its head?

Cheesy said...

LOL I so relate... lolololololol

meno said...

ttq, and you are not his mom.

hearts, that's a sweet way to look at it.

qt, incomptent....person.

patches, mine too. I wonder how they'd live without us?

imez, deep is overrated!

eve, ha ha ha ha! Oh, i hate it when that happens.

sari, i wonder at what age the blindness wears off?

franki, kids just have such tunnel vision.

dick, well, maybe, but we communicate every day, via IM or text messages.

cheesy, yeah, don't you have 4 of them?

crazymumma said...


It has to end! elder is but 11 and it is awful! just awful!

Cheesy said...

5.... till I finally figured out what caused it~

egan said...

Did you not smile at all while typing this post?

Antonia Cornwell said...

I thought the punchline would be that she was wearing them. That's how it is when Ian loses things.

I can't point the finger, though. I've lost count of how much of my life I've wasted looking for sunglasses that are right on top of my head. Or glasses that I'm actually looking through.

By the time Ian and I get old, all our possessions are going to be tied to our fingertips by pieces of string.