Tuesday, April 12, 2011

In all fairness

Because i try, at heart, to be fair, i asked the soon-ex about his living situation, he did not just blurt it out.  I did need his permanent address, and i need to know what i have to deal with.  Now that i know, i think, hope, there will be no more nasty surprises.  I will be prepared for it when i run into them in the 'hood.

And now for something completely different:

Last night i went to a book club.  I know, i know, book clubs are lame, but i am trying to get out of the house and be with people.  And my friend invited me, and i have read the book, so i went.

The book was "The Help" and if you've read it you will know what i mean, and if you haven't,  that's okay too, you don't need to bother.

Very few of the women talked about the actual book, they just talked about their experiences with racism and how horrified and upset they were by them.

There's something REALLY creepy about a bunch of middle-aged white women sitting around talking about racism, like we would know.  

I secretly read my kind!e while most of them talked.  Blah, blah.


Anonymous said...

Book clubs rock! At least mine does:) Sometimes we even talk about books.

Anonymous said...

I'm confused. They were talking about times they'd been discriminated against, or times when they'd seen someone else discriminated against?

Either way, I think reading your Kindle was the wise choice.

De said...

when I read that book I wondered just what I'd talk with anybody about about it.

I was invited to join a book club in February. I accepted, then found out that I had to be approved by all the members. Even though I was not blackballed, the whole vibe was off then.

I attended for the first time this month, and it was just OK. I mean, what group of 6 people can open a single bottle of wine and then not even finish it? The best part was that one of the women looks just like Mary-Louise Parker in Weeds, so i just imagined I was hanging with her.

Steph said...

"Secretly," she said on the interwebs. ;)

Bob said...

well - fair is fair, you had to ask.

Still....low class.

Hang in there.

jaded said...

I wish I could say something remotely pertinent, but frankly, the cat has laid on my keyboard and I can't seem to undo the changes he made to my reader page… little &^%#@$)!

I can't speak specifically to your situation, but getting out there and being present is something I'm struggling with. It can't be easy after a major life changes, because for some introspective people it isn't easy even after minor disturbances.

Sometimes you have to ask yourself, "Who am I holding it together for? is it really necessary? And would it really matter if I lost for just a little while if it helped me to release something that would help get past this moment?"

Anonymous said...

I am proud of you for getting out. Eventually you will connect with something that feeds your soul. What did you love when you were seven?

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

Bookclubs are NOT lame.

I had a squirmy reaction as well to The Help and its discussion with my book club. Yes, it was a good read and I didn't mind discussing the actual structure of the book (what worked, what didn't work, character development, etc.) But I also thought the gathering was chuckle-worthy. In fact, my book club met at a lovely winery - which amped up the Whiteness of the affair. :-)

nick said...

I wouldn't knock book clubs, they're good fun and they encourage you to read books you might not read otherwise. I was in one a few years back. But yes, discussing racist experiences seems a bit off the point of looking at the actual literary merits of the book. I guess they were just looking for some emotional catharsis.

mischief said...

Glad you're going out, even if the book club conversation isn't terribly stimulating. I am confident that somewhere in the world exists a book club that is completely wonderful. (Some of the posters above me seem to belong to such book clubs...) Until you find that one, though, this one sounds good enough. Do you have input into what will be read next?

meno said...

lilith, i think that's what i need. :)

nancy, times they had observed discrimination.

de, wow. that sounds odd. Hang in there, it MAY (?) get better.

steph, shhhhh...

bob, i needed to know because whatever the truth is, i have to deal with it.

jaded, pertinent is overrated. You just being here is enough.

jelli, thank you. I'd like to be someone's hero.

anon, well, i was pushed, i didn't jump myself. I loved biology. That's a thought.

cagey, wine would have helped, although i'm not really drinking right now. Book clubs aren't lame, but i wish they had talked about THE BOOK.

nick, it's true, i have read and enjoyed a few of the books i have "had" to read.

mischief, the books are set for this year, but last year, when i did have some input, i suggested the graphic novel "Persepolis" which was quite a shock for the old ladies, but they all liked it anyway.

Cat said...

I'm in the I-love-my-book-club contingent. GIve it another go with a book that isn't as awkward for the group to discuss. It's nice knowing I have those friends to see every month. It's a bit of consistency in my otherwise inconsistent (and often un-social) life right now. Maybe that'd be a good thing for you too...?

I hope your neighborhood is big enough that the odds aren't good of running into your past. urg

lu said...

I have to admit, after teaching literature all day and then working nights at a bookstore, I've become a bit jaded about book clubs.

The whole ass clown and clownette living situation sucks and can be nothing but hurtful. Wish I had something pithy to say about it.