Thursday, July 13, 2006

True Beauty for the Detail Oriented




Look at my shelves! My God, aren’t they fabulous? I got tired of those little moths flying out of my cupboards every time I opened the door, and of finding their maggots in my rice. One time I missed one and found a maggot floating in my soup. Lost my appetite (a VERY RARE event). They especially like cornmeal and wheat flour. No more you little fuckers!

I went to one of those storage stores. The kind of store that makes me go into convulsions of happiness thinking about how much better my life would be if only everything I owned was nestled inside the perfect container. I behave this way at office supply stores too. Heaven!

I spent at least $200 on these cool airtight watertight impregnable food fortresses. Everything edible is now safely locked away from the voracious wildlife. I feel an unbelievable sense of completeness as a woman. Yes. It’s pathetic, but let me bask in the warm glow of organization for a little while.

3 comments:

Eden Kennedy Onassis said...

God, $200, but it's so worth it.

The Daily Gus said...

Also: go to gardens alive (dot com) and search for Pantry Pest

Trust me on this one. WORTH EVERY PENNY.

Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

I kind of hate to tell you this -- but you should also put new bags of four and stuff in the freezer for a week or so before you put them in the cupboard... A friend told me that they often come to your house infested with icky live things...