Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Altitude and Attitude

Lucia left this comment on my post for yesterday:
From 20/20: "Professor Allen Mazur...did a study that found taller men are likely to marry more often and have more children. Mazur said one possible reason for his finding is that "taller men, by virtue of being more attractive to women, perhaps have more opportunities with women other than their wives, which leads to a breakup of marriage, which leads to a remarriage to a younger woman, which leads to another child."

Would it be fair to say from the study that it seems that taller men were hot and the shorter men were not? "That would be an inference. You could also infer that the shorter men are better husbands, and they have more long-lasting marriages," Mazur said."

So, after all these years, I'd be interested in how you see the taller/shorter thing now.

This gives me a chance to be all thoughtful and shit about the height difference between the Mister and me. Or at least tell a few funny stories from over the years.

One time, before we were married, we were walking one evening along the sidewalk by Sand Point, an ex military base in Seattle. I had short hair at the time and was wearing overalls. The Mister had long curly hair (for those of you around my age, his hair looked just like Peter Frampton's). We had our arms around each other while we were walking.
Some guys drove by, saw us and yelled "FAGGOTS!" out their car window. We both laughed and were teasing each other about who they had thought was which sex, although we both knew that they had thought we were both men.
Not five minutes later a man passed us on the sidewalk and said, "Good evening ladies". We both lost it then. That poor man must have wondered what the hell he'd said that was so funny.

But seriously, the Mister is a handsome guy. I think if he had been both handsome and tall, he might have been an asshole.

It's hard for me to say about the good husband thing, as we have had some major problems in our marriage. It's always easy to blame it on him, but he does have some self esteem issues that cause him to want to be attractive to everyone. (Thanks father and mother-in-law, you suck.) Although, to his credit, he has really worked hard on trying to figure out his issues and deal with them. He has been going to therapy for at least 10 years. That's one of the reasons that i am still with him, is that he was very sorry for his fucking up with what's her name and was truly serious about working it out. Can't save a marriage by yourself.

Yeah, i wish he were taller. He wishes he were taller. I wish i was shorter too, but not the whole 4 inches, i would like to be 5'10". But it will never happen. Well, i might become shorter one day, but he most assuredly will not grow. I don't think about it all that much anymore, except when we are out in public. We still hold hands all the time. People look at us, probably because we are so remarkably attractive (ahem), but rarely does anybody say anything to us.

Oh yeah, another story. The Mister was at a car dealer one day when i came to meet him for a minute to sign something (the Mister has a car problem, he keeps buying them). The sales manager saw me and after i left said, "My wife is taller than i am too. It's cool because it makes people think you have a big one."

I've made a bit of a mess of answering Lucia, but really, it's just how my life worked out.


urban-urchin said...

It's nice to see you guys are working through him fucking up in such a big way. I don't know if I could but that's me (I know I split up with a boyfriend who pulled that shit and ran into him after 12 years this last fall and STILL I made a snarky comment about his inability to keep it in his pants.) So childish.

Marshamlow said...

My husband is tall, athletic and handsome. I used to feel the he was out of my league. I would always be insanley jealous. We went thru a rough patch, where I was incredibly depressed and bitchy after two miscariages and a difficult pregnancy. He was great during that period and it gave me incredible perspective into who it is I married. So I am no longer jealous or insecure. Our marriage, the foundation, the life we have, I just don't think I would be able to walk away from all that easily. It would take a great deal for me to be able to quit our marriage.

Lynnea said...

I think every marriage has its great points, stories of laughter and its suffering. Some marriages suffer greater setbacks. But the key is that if the two are willing to work through the suffering and can resolve it. Taller or shorter may play a role, but marriage still takes work. Thank god its fun too!

Lucia said...

I love that you still hold hands all the time. We do get what we get in life, and it's not always what we expect...

Elliot said...

At 41, I'm still trying to remain comfortable around tall women. I married a woman shorter than me (I'm 5'9.5"--pretty short to you I'm sure) and never dated anyone taller than me because I felt intimidated, in some weird sense. As an adult, I tried to convince myself that having insecurities about being a shorter than a woman was just all in my head, but apparently it's a legitimate thing to be insecure about...

As a side note, though, I find that today's kids--boys and girls--are getting taller in general, probably thanks to hormones and such. I was at the market a few months ago, in line behind some 15-year olds on a field trip, and fully 70 percent of them were taller than me. I don't remember being in the height minority when I was in 10th grade. Maybe it was the school basketball team--all 30 of them...(not)

meno said...

You know, i always said (Mrs. Tough Girl) that i would dump any man who would cheat on me. But, after 12 years of marriage and with a 3 year old child, it wasn't so easy. Our therapist said to me "You will want to be able to look your daughter in the eye one day and say that you did everything you possibly could to keep this family together." And i did.

jeremiah, i'm glad you stopped by. The Mister is 5'8" (and i'm being generous here) but obviously he doesn't have a problem with tall women. But i do know what it's like to be treated uncomfortably by men who are shorter than me (i am in no way implying that you are one of these men). It makes me feel like a huge lumbering giraffe.
Always something to feel insecure about huh?

Bobealia... said...

I have the girl version of my dads body, ok. So my dad has long hair very similar to mine in every way, and always has... he also has a big bushy beard. One day we were walking along, and these guys yelled out the car window, "HEY BABY!!!" and then as they passed and saw the big bushy beard... "OH SHIT." "Do you think they were talking to me or you?" he said, flashing me a grin. My Dad's only 5'7 and my mom is only 5'3, so I never stood a chance.
I love the car dealer story. Hilarious!

Bobealia... said...

PS- I had to laugh when I clicked on the link and there was a pic of Peter Frampton with no hair.

meno said...

bo: Ha ha. Bet those guys felt like the asses they were.
When i first put up the link there was only the young and hairy picture. THAT was the picture i was referring to. Really.